Surrogate Partner Therapy works best when the surrogate and therapist are working as true collaborators. If you’re considering a referral, this page is for you.
Jump to: The Triadic Model · Who Benefits · How Collaboration Works · The Arc of Treatment · Making a Referral · FAQ
The Triadic Model
Surrogate Partner Therapy is a three-way collaboration between the client, a licensed therapist, and a surrogate partner. Each plays a distinct and essential role:
- You (the therapist) hold the clinical frame — conducting intake, setting treatment goals, processing the client’s experiences between sessions, and providing the therapeutic relationship that gives context to the experiential work.
- Lauren (the surrogate partner) provides the experiential component — working with the client in real-time on embodiment, physical and emotional intimacy, communication, and relational skills.
- The client integrates both, bringing their surrogate work into therapy and their therapeutic insights into sessions with Lauren.
Lauren maintains regular communication with you between sessions, with the client’s written consent. These check-ins are brief and focused — sharing what was worked on, what came up, and any observations relevant to your clinical work together. You remain the clinical lead throughout.
Who Benefits from Surrogate Partner Therapy
SPT can be a meaningful addition to the treatment plan for clients who are struggling with challenges that are difficult to address through talk therapy alone, including:
- Touch aversion or touch hunger
- Intimacy anxiety or avoidance
- Sexual dysfunction (erectile difficulties, vaginismus, anorgasmia)
- Social anxiety in relational contexts
- Trauma affecting physical or emotional intimacy
- Disability or chronic illness impacting intimacy
- Gender dysphoria and embodiment concerns
- Neurodivergence affecting social and relational skills
- Lack of relational experience or severe isolation
- Shame or confusion around sexual orientation or identity
SPT is not appropriate for clients in active crisis, those with untreated psychosis or severe personality disorder, or clients who are unable to provide genuine informed consent. If you’re uncertain whether SPT is a good fit, Lauren is happy to consult with you before any referral is made.
How Collaboration Works in Practice
Lauren’s approach to collaboration is grounded in respect for your clinical relationship with the client. Here’s what you can expect:
- Before the work begins: Lauren and you will connect — by phone or video — to align on the client’s goals, discuss any clinical considerations, and establish how you’ll communicate going forward. No formal referral paperwork is required.
- During the work: After each session, Lauren sends a brief summary of what was covered and any observations that may be clinically relevant. She welcomes your guidance on pacing, themes to explore, or areas of sensitivity.
- If concerns arise: Lauren will contact you promptly if anything comes up in session that warrants clinical attention. She operates within clear scope-of-practice boundaries and does not provide therapy.
- At the close of treatment: Lauren collaborates with you on the termination process, ensuring the transition honors the therapeutic relationships built and supports the client’s continued growth.
The Arc of Treatment
SPT follows a general four-phase arc, though the pace is always determined by the client’s needs and readiness. Exercises move from structured to progressively less structured over time. No client is obligated to complete any specific exercise or phase — though formal closure between surrogate, client, and therapist is always required.
Phase I — Relationship Building
The foundation. Sessions focus on communication skills, trust-building, and embodiment awareness. Work begins fully clothed and centers on exercises like sensate focus, breathing and relaxation, and consent practice. Your role as therapist is most active here — processing the client’s reactions and calibrating goals.
Phase II — Expanding Sensuality
Sessions expand in scope and depth, moving into exercises that support body awareness, self-acceptance, and a growing comfort with physical closeness. This phase focuses on normalizing the human body and building the client’s capacity for intimate self-awareness — without pressure toward any specific outcome.
Phase III — Deepening the Work
Continued intimacy work, tailored specifically to each client’s goals and treatment plan. The pace and scope of this phase are guided by the client’s therapeutic needs and developed collaboratively with you. Lauren’s communication with you intensifies as the work deepens, ensuring the clinical and experiential tracks remain aligned.
Phase IV — Closure
The surrogate and client re-contextualize the work together, reflect on growth, and transition out of the therapeutic relationship with intention. This may include exploring next steps — community, dating, kink spaces — depending on the client’s goals. Formal closure involves all three members of the triad.
A full session syllabus is available upon request for clinicians who would like more detail about the specific exercises used at each phase.
Making a Referral
The process is straightforward:
- Reach out directly — email Lauren to introduce yourself and your client’s situation. There’s no formal referral form.
- Consult together — Lauren will schedule a brief call with you to assess fit and answer any questions. This is at no cost and carries no obligation.
- Introduce the client — if SPT feels appropriate, the client books their own initial consultation with Lauren. You remain involved throughout.
If you have a client who isn’t familiar with SPT, Lauren is glad to provide psychoeducation materials you can share with them, or to speak with them directly at your request.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is there a liability concern for me as the referring therapist?
Surrogate Partner Therapy is a recognized therapeutic modality practiced within established professional guidelines. Lauren operates as an independent professional and carries her own professional liability. Your liability as the referring clinician is similar to that of any collaborative referral. Many therapists find it helpful to document the referral and their clinical rationale in the client’s file.
Do I need to be physically present in sessions?
No. The triadic model is collaborative, not co-present. Your role is to hold the clinical frame in your own sessions with the client, while Lauren handles the experiential work in hers. The two tracks run in parallel and inform each other through communication and the client’s own integration.
What if I’m new to SPT or unfamiliar with the modality?
Lauren is glad to orient you. She’s worked with clinicians at all levels of familiarity with SPT and can walk you through how the modality works, what research supports it, and what the collaborative relationship typically looks like. She can also point you toward clinical literature and resources.
What if my client doesn’t already have a therapist?
SPT requires a collaborating therapist — it is not offered without one. If a prospective client approaches Lauren without an existing therapist, she can provide referrals to clinicians in the area who are familiar with the triadic model and open to collaboration.
Get in Touch
Lauren welcomes inquiries from clinicians at any stage — whether you have a specific client in mind or simply want to learn more about whether this work might be a fit for your practice.